Relationship Boundary Quiz - Teresa Solomita

Welcome to your Relationship Boundary Quiz

1.) You and a close friend have been planning a weekend away for a few months, and you're really looking forward to getting away and spending time with them. They have a new romantic partner and has recently been canceling the plans that you two have made together. This time, on the Monday before your weekend trip they cancel because they say they are just too busy. You:

Say nothing and lower your expectations around this relationship.

Tell them it’s fine, but cut them off and avoid seeing them for a long time.

Ask them to reconsider—if they says no, make plans to talk to them in the near future to share your feelings.

Tell yourself that it doesn’t matter and agree to reschedule for a time that is more convenient for her.

Feel relieved! You’re so busy all the time that you’re actually glad to have the weekend alone.

2.) Every year you and your closest friends plan a weekend getaway that you really look forward to. Somehow, it’s always been your responsibility to plan and schedule the weekend. This time, you’re really busy and quite frankly you’re a bit tired of this role. You:

Bite the bullet—do it again and say nothing.

Tell your friends that you really want to see them, but you’d like someone else to take charge of making plans this time.

Do nothing, even if it means the trip doesn’t happen.

Complain on the group text about how busy you are, hoping that someone else will take over. When no one does, you plan the trip and feel a bit resentful.

Plan the trip, but wait until the last minute. You pick a place that you want to go to without running it by your friends.

3.) You’re overwhelmed at work—so much so that you find yourself working late every day and even on the weekends. Your boss gives you yet another “special” assignment, and you don’t think you can get it done while staying on top of your current responsibilities. You:

Buck up and take one for the team. You decide to head to work even earlier, maybe even cancel your favorite exercise class just to get it done.

Have a talk with your boss—explain the situation you’re in and request their help prioritizing tasks and deadlines.

Quit your job on the spot.

Say nothing, but complain about it to your coworkers, your partner and your friends.

Avoid your boss out of the fear that they might give you more work. You finish what you can and ignore their additional demands.

4.) You're at a bar on a first date. You're not having fun and you really want to leave. They, on the other hand, are having a great time telling you all about themself (and asking you nothing!). They suggest that you get dinner. You:

Come up with an excuse for leaving, then text them later to tell them you’re not interested.

Stay for dinner—it’s hard to say no when someone is attracted to you.

Excuse yourself for the restroom and slip out the door.

Tell them XYZ and leave. Then you decide you’ll no longer use dating apps, as they clearly don’t work.

Stay for dinner if you think they're paying. Then you find a way to entertain yourself on the date by thinking about what you’re going to tell your friends about it later.

5.) You’ve been dating someone for awhile and you’re excited that it seems to be getting serious. However, they often make other plans for the weekend that don’t include you, and usually don’t even tell you about it until the last minute. You:

Decide that it’s not worth being with someone who doesn’t include you in their weekend plans, so you end the relationship.

Feel surprised every time, but just make your own plans.

Confront them about it. You make sure they're willing to discuss this with you and understand why it bothers you.

Feel really disappointed, then hint that you’d been hoping to spend time with them this weekend.

Feel really hurt and disappointed, but you put up a good front and give them their space.

6.) You make a sarcastic joke to your close friend, thinking that it’s all in good fun. They tell you they feel hurt by the comment. You:

Make another joke and tell her they're overreacting. Hell, it’s all in fun!

Feel terribly guilty. You apologize over and over—you may even lose sleep over this.

You tell them that you’re sorry and didn’t intend to hurt them You try to understand what it was that hurt them, and ask them to expand on their feelings.

You don’t really understand the issue, but you tell them you’re sorry and change the subject.

Apologize, but feel a little defensive and wonder why they're so sensitive.

7.) You have a new romantic partner and you’re anxious to introduce them to your best friend. You two have been dating for awhile and it feels like this might be your life partner. Your friend takes an immediate dislike to your partner and makes sure to tell you about it. You:

End the relationship—your friend has better instincts than you do. There are plenty of choices on the apps!

Avoid your best friend. You think of reasons why you don’t have much in common anymore, and continue with the romantic relationship.

Continue the romantic relationship, and you continue to see your best friend. However, you keep them apart and never talk to your friend about your partner.

Tell your friend that you’re sorry you don't agree, but hope that they will keep an open mind and find something to like about your partner.

Continue to see your partner, but start to notice things that bother you. You begin to consider leaving them.

8.) You’re dating someone and really like them, and you even hope that they become your life partner. However, recently you notice that when you open up to them about something that you’re struggling with, they immediately try to fix it instead of just listening to you. You:

Stop talking to them about these things and eventually decide to leave the relationship.

Manage your expectations, and slowly share less and less with them. You consider leaving the relationship.

Tell them how it makes you feel when they don’t listen. You let them know what you need and remind them of how you feel when it happens the next time.

Tell them once or twice how you feel when they try to fix things. When they don’t listen, you give up and consider theis advice.

Say nothing and consider their advice. Then you change the subject.

9.) You’re starting to really like the person you’ve been dating for a few months. You want to make the relationship exclusive, but haven’t told them yet because you have no idea if they're dating other people. You:

Lay your cards on the table. You tell them what you’re looking for, even though you know it might be the last conversation you have with them.

Tell yourself you don’t care and keep seeing them.

Quit seeing them.

Don’t bring it up, in case it pushes them away. However, you think about it a lot, talk about it to your friends and analyze their behavior. You feel anxious about the situation and hope that they come around.

Take a stab at the “I’d like to be exclusive” conversation by asking them a vague question about the future. If you don’t get the answer that you want, you decide to wait.

10.) You recently moved in with your partner. Previously, you saw each other only on the weekends. You often work late, enjoy evenings with your friends and like to go to the gym on the other evenings. Your partner has begun to ask for more of your time during the week, and appears resentful when you don’t meet up with them after work. You:

Feel angry towards your partner for thinking that this is a problem, so you continue the same behavior.

In an effort to please your partner, you give up a good portion of your alone time.

Have a difficult time understanding why things would have to change. However, you promise your partner that you’ll spend more time together. You stick to this plan for a little while, then you start to stay late at work, or make plans with your friends, etc.

Have a discussion with your partner about their expectations, and you share with them what you want and need.

Have a difficult time understanding why things would have to change, but you want to please your partner. You reserve a few nights for them, but you feel resentful.