Dating Multiple People: Pros, Cons and Emotional Overload

Dating multiple people can be a smart thing to do. After all, you need to go on many dates before you truly get to know someone. And if you’re trying to settle down into a long-term relationship, then seeing what your options makes sense for making the best decision.

However, if your nervous system gets overwhelmed when dating multiple people, then you might need to slow things down and date just one person at a time. Some people simply find it too challenging to date different people simultaneously. Even if it’s generally recommended to do so, it might not be the right choice for you. 

Benefits to Dating Multiple People

Why do relationship experts suggest that dating multiple people is a smart choice? First of all, dating one person at a time tends to train all of your focus on that person. This can cause you to get too intensely involved too quickly. Among other things, this can cloud your judgment and cause you to gloss over potential problems. Without other people to compare that person to, you might not realize that someone else, with other qualities, would be more compatible. In contrast, dating multiple people allows you to truly pick the best match for yourself long-term.

Here are some of the other benefits of dating multiple people:

  • Comparing the people that you’re dating helps you figure out what you value in a relationship.
  • No one relationship is under too much pressure.
  • It’s empowering to feel like you have your choices.
  • Having the attention of multiple partners feels really good and can boost your confidence.

Basically, the argument for dating multiple people is that doing so opens up more chances for finding the most compatible partner. Ideally, each relationship will help you learn, grow, and gain further self-understanding. Ultimately, this provides you with the information that you need to choose the one right person for your future.

Challenges to Dating Multiple People

Of course, while many agree that it’s smart to date various people, that choice is not without its challenges.

While some people find it helpful to compare potential life partners, other people just find it confusing. You might like one quality about Person A and another about Person B and just end up wishing that you could meld them both into one perfect partner. Comparisons may help clear things up, but they also have the potential to make decisions even cloudier.

Furthermore, some people experience emotional overload from dating multiple people. If you’re an introvert who would rather stay home anyway, then dating more than one person might just be too much. Or you might need more space in your life than serial dating allows. Also, if you tend to attach to people too easily, ruminate a lot about your relationships, and/or are a highly sensitive person, then connecting with so many personalities might not be worth the internal upset.

Tips for Dating More Than One Person

If you decide that you want to try dating multiple people, here are some tips to keep in mind:

  • Always be open and honest. Each partner should know that you’re dating other people.
  • Determine your boundaries around sex. Be honest with this as well.
  • One or more of you might feel jealous. Work on open communication to cope with this issue.
  • Stay in touch with yourself. Dating only works out if you know what you want. If you lose sight of that, it gets confusing.
  • If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, then you might want to pull back and try dating just one person at a time.

Keep in mind, there’s no one right approach to dating. Take time to figure out what’s right for you at this stage of your life. Therapy can assist you in working things out too. Contact me for more information today.

2019-04-08T20:18:11+00:00